Ten annoying phrases people only use at work

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the office (and just for fun), here are ten shining examples of peculiar corporate jargon.

1. To action
The epitome of the creative corporate art of turning a noun into a verb, ‘to action’ perhaps emerged in place of ‘to do’ because it evokes an image of someone being galvanised into an eager whirlwind of decisive activity rather than trudging back to their desk to do something boring on a spreadsheet.
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Help! Where did all these dumb words come from?

So, no-one has problems any more – they only have ‘issues’. As far as I can recall, this is one of the earliest examples of a stupid word displacing a perfectly good one. Had the, er, issue ended there, we might have lived with it, albeit through gritted teeth. But what the hell has happened? We’ve become so prim and proper that our language is now peppered with soft-soap euphemisms that have replaced everyday functional words now inexplicably deemed vulgar or inappropriate.

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Seven writing mistakes guaranteed to annoy your customers

Crafting the perfect customer letter or email can be tricky. Mass corporate communications are usually composed to tight deadlines yet often require delicate input from multiple business stakeholders. Even with the best intentions it can be easy for the importance of the customer experience to slip from top of mind in the sheer process of ‘getting a letter out’.

Nonetheless there are certain traits prevalent in many corporate communications that are unlikely to lead to happier customers and yet are easily avoided. Below are a few culprits that seem to crop up time and again.

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Ten corporate buzzwords you never want to hear again

Why do we walk into work on a Monday morning and leave the plain-English-speaking part of our brain outside in the street? Most of us use business jargon, to a greater or lesser extent.

But if we actually stop and think about it, anyone of sound mind would surely struggle to deny that most corporate-speak is pointless, confusing and downright annoying. Here are ten Category ‘A’ offenders.

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Why don’t the police talk like normal people?

Repeated exposure to television’s nightly round-up of crime, violence and human misery – a.k.a. the six o’clock news – leads me to wonder where police officers learn to talk. Is the abandonment of normal speech a critical part of their academy training? Continue Reading →